dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
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