the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
