At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
