At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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