i jhust puked up my retainher.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
