I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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