what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
