i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my sisters under your porch take her home
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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