I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
