I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
