I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
