I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
