and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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