Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
a search helicopter?!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
