I looked at my own cervix.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
