it hurts more in the daytime
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So much Jack, so little girl.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize