suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
