STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
