that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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