I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
