It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
