Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
