is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
