Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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