Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize