Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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