yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
