weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
