i think my tv is drunk
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
