We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
