She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
im six kinds of drunk right now
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize