Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
