we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
