you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
