My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
