ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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