the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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