Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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