No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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