stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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