I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
