that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
