I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
