I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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