her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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