It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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