Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
please don't ironically join a cult
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