Come see our sink grown plant.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
