My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
After tacos, we're chasing women.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize