Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Found your dick twin last night
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize