I wanna passion pit in your ass
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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