Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize