Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
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