It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
