I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
