But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So. Much. Porn.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
