i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
