I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
50% drunk capacity currently
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
where are my eyebrows?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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