She said her name was "party"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize