I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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