I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
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