watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize