PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Floor bacon is actually really good
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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