Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
