Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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